Sanctuary
by Sky Venom
Summary: "Don't move, you have a spinal injury." How do you react if this is the first thing you hear after waking? Sitting up, of course, to see the unfortunate fellow who suffered such a severe injury. Only, you can't move an inch. Panic rises, you try to escape your new prison, but nothing matters, nothing helps... And the road to recovery is long and hard and lonely. Are you up to it?


**A/N:** Hello! This story is closely connected with my other story, **Favor** , since this is the Fíli/Hanna POV of chapter 6. I couldn't help getting into Fíli's head, so I wrote this little scene, I think it can stand alone, too. Stina and Hanna and my OCs, Stina is currently with Dwalin, while Hanna is watching over Stina's many siblings - with Fíli, who just had enough of sitting at home. Ten years after Botfa; everyone survived, but Fíli payed a price.

I hope you like it, I accept reviews ;)

Sky

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"I'll be fine, Dwalin. That is her door, and I think I can make a five-yard distance by myself without problem."

"You think or you're sure?" Dwalin asked.

"I'm sure!" Fíli almost exploded from frustration. He knew that Dwalin wanted good and tried to help him, but sometimes all this help became suffocating, and made him wish he had not survived the fall. It was only five yard, for Mahal's sake, and he was expected around this time. When he offered to watch over Stina's siblings for a few hours, he had no idea Dwalin would make such a fuss. It's not like he would be alone with the dwarflings, their usual baby-sitter would be there, and it was more for Fíli's sake (to get out, move around a bit, and he had always dreamed about a big family) than it helped Stina. Except that Dwalin could not spend his free time with him, so he would probably get his ass to ask Stina out. Fíli found amusing how awkward Dwalin became whenever Stina was around – or mentioned even – but he rooted for them enthusiastically.

Fortunately, Dwalin left, and finally, he felt better. He loved being independent, and losing it with the _accident_ had hit him hard. He had learned to cope, but he cherished the moments when he was left alone for even a minute to walk a five-yard distance.

He knocked on the door, and it opened immediately. He tried to stand tall and proud, to make the best impression, but it was difficult considering his injuries, and he wasn't so tall anyway. So why bother? It was an instinct to him, to look better and bigger and more powerful all the time; it was part of his training for kingship – for nothing, as things were standing right now. No one would accept a cripple on the throne, even if he had broken his spine during defending that kingdom.

Behind the door, Fíli saw the most beautiful dwarrowdam he had ever seen.

She was short, curvy at all the right places, her light blond hair braided simply on her two side, her sideburns beautifully framing her dimpled cheeks and the warm smile she wore. Her dark blue eyes shone with shy curiosity, the soft stubble on her chin made Fíli want to touch her and pull her closer for a kiss on those perfectly shaped lips… which were actually moving, saying something that completely escaped his attention.

Fíli had never been embarrassed in front of a woman – his good looks made it unnecessary before, and after the accident, he had bigger problems than that – but he certainly was now.

"Hello," he forced himself to be polite at least. "I'm Fíli."

"I'm Hanna," she said on her lovely, seductive voice – oh, Mahal, he would burn, and soon, Fíli thought. "Are you coming in?"

Hanna led him into the living room, where he had previously spent an afternoon. It looked entirely different, and for the first time, he felt himself unsure about this idea.

The kids were loud. Two of them were arguing, one cheering for them, and some were simply shouting for the sake of shouting at each other. It was actually even funny, but the room, well…

The furniture was completely rearranged compared to the comfortable disposition he saw.

He should have thought of it. Seven dwarflings lived here, the apartment was too neat to be in that state constantly.

"I'm sorry for the mess," Hanna apologized. At first, Fíli felt grateful for her comment, then, he remembered that he was in difficulty to move around swiftly, which made him frustrated. It turned into embarrassment again, because he had to tell Hanna that – or rather, she had already noticed – which heightened until he started to panic: what was he thinking coming here? He had to face the facts: he was not able to run and look after kids; he was the one in need to be watched and taken care of.

This turmoil washed over him in mere moments before he answered her with a nervous smile:

"I've seen worse." He cleared his throat, which helped him regain his confident voice, and attempted a joke: "I've done worse, to be honest."

Hanna shook her head. "Don't even start. It's more than enough for me, so if you won't help, please, don't make it worse by giving them ideas." She made a desperate smile, and he felt better. Hanna handled him like he was an average person.

Fuck, he was rapidly falling in love with her.

It made him brave enough to ask for her help – the average-person-handling part, not the love part, that was a consequence.

"Do you maybe have an idea how could I get around safely with this?" He upheld his cane, which helped him keep his balance.

Hanna fell deep in thought for a moment, then raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe you should threaten them with it when they get under your feet?"

They burst out laughing, and their noise drew the kids' attention on them.

"Fíli! Prince Fíli! Warrior Fíli!" sounded the happy greeting from everywhere. Even the smallest one, Gaal, came to him and hugged him.

Fíli was overwhelmed, and he felt tears gathering in his eyes. He so not wanted to look at Hanna, but at the same time, his indestructible male pride wanted her to see him surrounded by the kids' love. His eyes met hers. She was smiling, touched by the scene evolving in front of her, and she felt emotional too. A tear escaped his eye, and he turned away to hide it, but he suspected that Hanna saw. _How very masculine, crying from the affection of a bunch of dwarflings,_ he started the self-derogatory comments in his head. Maybe Hanna was beautiful _and_ kind, but he was not someone dwarrowdams perceived as attractive these days. He must not hope.

When the kids left, Hanna addressed him again.

"See? They're not bad."

"I know, they are just many." Hanna chuckled. Fíli switched to a safer topic. "What are you doing usually while watching over them?"

"I am watching over them. I have to pay attention all the time, because when one of them does something wrong or dangerous, they do it in silence, which I can't hear because of the constant noise. I usually try to do some housework, not to leave my mess to Stina, she is busy enough. I know it's not much, and it sounds boring. Maybe you want to entertain them?" she offered.

"Are you so willing to get rid of them?" Fíli teased her. Fortunately, she seemed to enjoy his attempt at making light of their situation, pretending all is well…

"Are you afraid of taking on them?" she replied. "Then why did you come?"

Her question sounded a bit more serious than the first, like she had been genuinely curious about his motivation. His smile turned sour; he wanted to tell her about his feelings, about everything he felt and thought – it was so long that he could be honest with someone without causing fear or pity or anger or offense; but he knew that he shouldn't intrude her life so irreversibly so soon.

"I like children," he offered a neutral but true answer.

"Then they are all yours," Hanna gestured toward them. "Try to tell them stories. Maybe they like yours better than mine."

"What are your stories about?"

"They are girly stories," she flinched playfully. "I don't think you would like them either."

"You won't know if you don't try," Fíli smiled smugly. He knew stories which he would gladly share with her, show to her, too… would he be able to. He sobered again.

"Where do I find a glass of water?" he asked. Hanna led him to the kitchen, explaining where he could find everything.

"Feel free to help yourself, but you can ask me too, if you want."

Oh, he loved her. Either she forgot about his incapability – rather hard, considering the too visible signs, like the cane and his hunched posture, and his lack of muscles, or the slow and cautious way he moved – or she believed him capable to decide what he could and couldn't do.

In the next two hours, Fíli sat on a couch and led the dwarflings into battle against a bunch of orcs (played by innocent knots of blankets), and won the battle gloriously. The dwarflings clinged on his words and obeyed his orders with unfailing precision. Lara grumbled a bit when she was relegated to the healer's wing, but Fíli weaved the story in such a way that she got a quite exciting storyline with enough fighting, and she beamed when he declared her a champion. It must be hard growing up with so many boys and a much older sister, so he decided to favor her a bit if he came again.

Hanna occupied herself in the kitchen, but sometimes she peeked out to follow the events of the battle. She made sure everyone was still alright, and she sat back to her work. Fíli was immensely curious what she was doing, but he reminded himself often, that he had no business snooping around her.

A little after the battle ended, Hanna approached Fíli.

"Are you finished?"

"Yes." He shuffled a bit to make room for her beside him on the couch, but she did not sit.

"Is everyone alright?"

"Yes. We won, and no one got hurt. Are you proud of us?"

"I am," she smiled, and wrinkled her nose: "I so knew that they like your stories better…"

"Does it mean I won? Against you?"

"It's not a contest!" she protested fiercely, but her fine features were lit up by her smile. "But I think I'll keep you. Get them to dinner now, and later, they have to clean up their mess, wash themselves and get to bed. That is actually the most difficult task here, to keep them in order at bedtime. They all want to escape the horrors of sleeping… which is the lack of playing, I guess."

"Yeah, that's hard," Fíli sympathized with her, only to continue with a wicked grin: "the lack of playing."

Hanna looked at him outraged.

"Don't encourage them to resist! I was counting on you to be my general and lead them to victory into their beds!"

 _Then convince me, sweetheart._ Fíli choked the answer back from the tip of his tongue. No flirting; there was no point. "Fine," he shrugged in the end. Hanna released a relieved sigh.

"Thank Mahal! I mean, thank you. Your power over them is impressive. I would like to discover more of it."

Fíli melted in the radiance of her grateful smile. He somehow managed to impress her, and she counted on his abilities. That was the most glorious feeling in the world for him after so much dismissal. He stood up a bit too suddenly, and he felt the sharp pain of stretching his numb muscles. He stilled for a moment to get used to standing again, and calculated the easiest way to the kitchen.

"Warriors! Stand in line, from oldest to youngest. March into the kitchen and sit down for dinner. Obey the Lady of the kitchen without hesitation. Let's go!" Saying the words proved more difficult than he had thought; he was so engaged in the game that he forgot to drink, recharge, and basically watch his movements. He felt lightheaded, and when he reached his chair, he couldn't stifle a soft groan. He hoped no one noticed. He ate in silence with the kids, and he sent them to bed, hoping that Hanna could take them from now.

He buried his head in his hands, trying to contain his feelings.

He actually felt awful, and not in the emotional way. He was not yet in pain, but during long years of coping, he learned to read the signs of his body. He was in for a long suffer for this one afternoon, and he did not even get (entirely) out of the sofa. But oh, how he loved it! This afternoon, he was just a normal guy, entertaining children, secretly ogling the pretty girl in the next room… And now close to breaking down.

But not yet. He tried to compel his muscles to move and he started to pick the dishes from the table. He was thinking about washing them; Hanna could use some help, and he meant to impress her with a nice gesture. She would still think of him as a nice person, if surely not with interest.

She came back however in a short time – or it took him too long to pick the plates, he thought with self-deprecation.

"Oh, thank you!" she exclaimed, and the clouds over his mood cleared a little. "I take it from here," she took the plates from his hand.

"May I help?" Fíli asked, and her grateful smile made him forget his unease. Hanna looked him over from head to toe but not with the appreciating gleam which he was used to in the old days. She was looking for some fault in him, and he tried not to waver, not to give any hint, trying to convince her he was well and whole – or at least close to.

"Are you sure you're up to it? You spent the whole afternoon with the kids, and they are exhausting for someone not used to them."

Oh.

She wasn't worried about his physical condition, she was only generally concerned. (At least, she pretended.)

"Yes!"

Of course he should have known it wasn't a good idea. She did the washing and he was drying them with a cloth. He started to feel weak after the second plate, and he had to focus on stopping the trembling of his hands.

Just before the eighth plate, he felt dizzy and he had to steady himself by the counter.

Hanna immediately reached for him.

"Are you alright?" Her fright showing in her voice.

Fíli needed some moment to answer. "Help me to the chair."

The following minutes blurred in his mind, but he noticed that Hanna gave him a glass of water, and she returned to the dishes. After she finished the large pot, she turned to him:

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes." No, he did not. He felt worse, because he was ashamed of his weakness, of his lack of control over the situation, and he was still so tired, his back starting to radiate the slow, numbing pain which he always feared. He could never know when it became permanent.

Hanna turned back to continue her job, and Fíli was staring, accidentally, at her. He was actually too tired to really appreciate the view, but Hanna noticed and she couldn't help mentioning it.

"Were you really dizzy, or you only pretended, to sit down like males often do?"

Fíli smiled. She was teasing him, and probably they both knew the truth, but she offered him a way out.

"Maybe I wanted to enjoy the view."

"Typical," she huffed jokingly.

"You can't blame us to prefer sitting back and enjoy the view of a pretty girl's behind," he explained. "The view _is_ enjoyable."

Hanna blushed.

"For such a comment, I would put you on extra duty, were you under my command," she threatened him. Fíli flashed her a smug smile – well, he meant it to be smug.

"I wouldn't mind."

"Oh, you would, by the end!" She said, and returned again to her work, not feeling the direction of their conversation safe enough. Maybe it wasn't, and Fíli was alright with some silence.

He was wondering about where Dwalin was and when they planned to return. He had to think about getting home soon, because the exertion and excitement was too much, and his body started to shut down. It was a dangerous sensation.

Hanna sat down to him with two cups of hot chocolate.

"To get back some of our energy," she explained with a shy smile. Fíli hoped that it was her usual routine. He would feel bad had he caused some problem to Stina with his visit. Who knows how much the chocolate costed her?

They were sitting in a comfortable silence, Fíli too tired to speak or even pretend to listen to her speech, when Dwalin and Stina arrived. Their laughter could be heard from outside of the door, and Fíli knew that their evening went well. Perhaps it was worth the trouble, the days to come spent in pain… At least someone got happy.

"Mahal, Fíli, I'm calling for the chair," Dwalin blurted without a proper greeting, when he spotted him.

He nodded his assent without words, and Dwalin left, while Stina checked her siblings. Hanna paled.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you in so much pain?" she fretted.

"You did well," Fíli whispered. He wasn't sure she heard every word, but he was too tired, he was in a different world now. He could never be sure if he was still present in their, normal world, or he got totally transported to his own realm of numbness. "I like you," he said in the dream world. Or in reality?He didn't know. "I want you."


End file.
